Lawrence Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
If This Were Your Real Life
You Would Have Been Given Better Instructions
This is only
a test -
if this were
your real life you would have been given better instructions
-seen on a
bumper sticker
I took my cough to a plastic plaque
My wheezing and sneezing and headache too
My unaccountably rigidy back
And sputum that reeked like a witches’ brew
I waved the little cotton probe all through
My nostrils where the wicked virus lurked
And then I thoughtfully dropped five drops unto
A window in the plaque, and, lo! It worked!
I don’t have the covid and I don’t have the ‘flu
So why do I feel so blown-out blue!
(N.B. I take my medical advice from my brilliant nurse practitioner, not from the InterGossip nor from Robert Kennedy.)
