Dispatches for the Colonial Office
Newspaper columns not published in any newspaper (and there's probably a reason for that)
Tuesday, August 11, 2026
The Girl with the Pearl Nose Ring - a poor attempt at senryu
Lawrence Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
LogoSophia Magazine – A Pilgrim's Journal of Life, Literature and Love
The Girl with the Pearl Nose Ring
Not from Vermeer
“Girls purty as me
Shouldn’t have to work for a livin’
That’s what men are for”
Sunday, August 9, 2026
That Famous Participation Trophy - poem
Lawrence
Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
LogoSophia Magazine – A Pilgrim's Journal of Life, Literature and Love
That Famous
Participation Trophy
One hears of that participation trophy-trope
A theme, a meme, mostly by cranky old men
Withered gaffer-gossips condemning the young
For being rewarded simply for showing up
Like Santa Claus it might be a good idea
I still listen for sleigh bells every Christmas
And yet – I have never seen a participation trophy
If you find one, call; you have my number
And, speaking of unearned rewards,
We’re presented a trophy each morning, just for fun
When God gives each of us a golden sun!
For the Feast of St. Lawrence, 10 August 2026 - doggerel
Lawrence Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
LogoSophia Magazine – A Pilgrim's Journal of Life, Literature and Love
For the Feast of Saint Lawrence
Today
is the Feast of Saint Lawrence
His
faith and martyrdom we already knew
We remember
his death with a sense of abhorrence -
When Biologists Fall in Love - poem
Lawrence Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
LogoSophia Magazine – A Pilgrim's Journal of Life, Literature and Love
When Biologists Fall in Love
There are many things that a frog doesn’t know:
That he is a biological marker
That he doesn’t sing as well as Chevalier
That green is not appropriate evening wear
But he knows the bugs are tasty on my window screen
That he feels froggy this warm summer night
That he sings well enough for m’lady frog
That she admires him in his cool green coat
And now the stars are brighter and the evening is darker:
Will you be my sweet biological marker?
Happy Little Raindrops for Children and Liberal Arts Graduates - poem
Lawrence Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
LogoSophia Magazine – A Pilgrim's Journal of Life, Literature and Love
Happy Little Raindrops for Children and Liberal Arts Graduates
Do you suppose a raindrop laughs as it falls?
Water vapor floating in the sky
Condenses one little molecule at a time
Wrapping around a particle of dust
Can you say, “condensation nuclei?”
And why would you?
And all these tiny droplets join to form
A larger droplet now too heavy for the air
Which playfully sends it sailing back to earth
Where it seeks for a safe place to land
“Hooray!” it cries as down-down-down it goes
To land at last upon your little nose!
Saturday, August 8, 2026
All My Neat School Stuff for the First Day of Term - poem
Lawrence
Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
LogoSophia Magazine – A Pilgrim's Journal of Life, Literature and Love
All My Neat School Stuff for the First Day of Term
The
Trapper Keeper is a fun retro thing
I
wonder if anyone else will have one
I
might start a trend with this ‘way-back look
I
wonder if that cute girl will notice me
This
new graphing calculator is the best
I
like the smell of new pencils and paper
And
I’m going to rock the opening assembly
In
my happenin’ new light hoodie and baggy jeans
There
won’t be a second day, so on the first
Which
of my daddy’s guns should I pack?
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