Tuesday, January 30, 2024

Elon Musk Invites Us Down for Chips and Dip and Destruction - poem

 

Lawrence Hall, HSG

Mhall46184@aol.com

 

Elon Musk Invites Us Down for Chips and Dip and Destruction

 

They have pulled down Deep Heaven on their Heads

 

-C. S. Lewis, That Hideous Strength

 

He’s implanted a chip, says Mr. Musk

Into the brain (certainly not the hip)

Of some poor patient who’s now just a husk

A talking head, a thing, a radar blip

 

And what could go wrong with this poor android

A man now fitted with an electric brain

Adjusted and programmed and tweaked and toyed -

A failed experiment thrashing in pain?

 

And if he fails, this humanoid chip

Musk might use him for guacamole dip

 

I am not a Luddite. Electronic chips, as with pacemakers, eyeglasses, and artificial joints, will be used by wise scientists and healers to make our lives better. But I wouldn't trust just anyone in the matter.

Monday, January 29, 2024

Tower 22

"Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, 

and make perpetual Light to shine upon them." 



Specialist Kennedy Ladon Sanders, 24

Specialist Breonna Moffett, 23

Sgt. William Rivers, 46

This Smart Watch Will Last - poem

 

Lawrence Hall, HSG

Mhall46184@aol.com

 

This Smart Watch Will Last

 

Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in

 

-Henry David Thoreau, Walden

 

I do not set the time; time simply is:

The dawning day requires no entrance code

The morning frost need not be set to wake

The yakking crows cannot be switched to “Off”

 

The lingering fog sends no notifications

The bare-limbed oaks re-set themselves in spring

The sky is the background app refresh

The wind is a warranty for life

 

All these good things are made to be -

I do not set the time, but God sets me

Thursday, January 25, 2024

When it Comes to Shakespearean Scholarship - This isn't It

 

Lawrence Hall, HSG

Mhall46184@aol.com

 

Avon Man and the Mystery of His First-Best Bed

 

I gyve unto my wief my second best bed…

 

-Attributed to Shakespeare in his will. Or Churchill. Or Milton. Or Elvis. Or Some Famous Man. And Shakespeare was secretly a Catholic. (No, he wasn’t.) (Yes, he was.) (No, he wasn’t.) (Yes, he was; I read it on the InterGossip.)

 

That second-best bed doesn’t matter a pop

Those anyones whoever slept in it are deads

Memorialized as dashboard bobbleheads

At Ye Olde Anne Hathawaye gifte shoppe

 

Kinge Richarde nevere cryede, “mye kyngdome fore ye bedde!”

Yea, goode olde Sirre Erpinghame joked, “Now lye I like a kynge”

So what’s the deale withe the firste-beste bedde thynge?

Thatte seconde bedde is where the Widowe rested hir hedde

 

Ande thusse ye scholares maken withouten cessatione
Unsupportede argumentes and allegationes

Wednesday, January 24, 2024

Dentistry and Dogs - poem

 

Lawrence Hall, HSG

Mhall46184@aol.com

 

Dentistry and Dogs

 

What would the world be like without dogs?

 

-Mary Oliver

 

Our little bit of the world was frozen that day

At the dentist’s office something that makes something else

Do something else was frozen and would not work

And so I waited with Mary’s book about dogs

 

Dog is one of the messengers of that rich and still magical first world.

 

The frost was still upon the windowsill

As an hour passed for me and Mary’s dogs

Their adventures in the woods, their lonely times

Their happy glances into their human’s eyes

 

Our new dog, named for the beloved poet, / ate a book

 

Even though the something else was frozen in ice

Our little bit of the world was warmer for a time

 

Because of the dog’s joyfulness, our own is increased

 

 

Quotes from Mary Oliver, Dog Songs, Penguin, New York: 2013




 

Sunday, January 21, 2024

Awkward Adolescent Verse - poem

 

Lawrence Hall, HSG

Mhall46184@aol.com

 

Awkward Adolescent Verse

 

Poetry…

The authority of empires, driven mad,

Threatened it so many times,

But it was the rulers who perished

 

-Yevtushenko, “Poetry is a Great Power”

 

They stole his boots even before he died

And scavengers have eaten out his eyes

His flesh and blood commingle with the mud

His rotting hands still claw the earth, the pain

 

A dime-store notebook, shredded with his heart

Once pencilled with his awkward, juvenile lines

Of undeveloped images and clumsy rhymes

Which will not be shaped and sharpened in this world

 

Among young bodies rats squabble and hiss -

Someone will be given a peace prize for this

 

Saturday, January 20, 2024

Methodist Pecans - poem

 

Lawrence Hall, HSG

Mhall46184@aol.com

 

Methodist Pecans

 

Methodist pecans

 

Connie-the-Haircut-Queen sells us pecans

Every Christmas, good Methodist pecans

A fundraiser sponsored by the women’s club

To be baked into cookies and pies for Christmas day

 

Methodist pecans

 

They used to come from my grandfather’s trees

But now they’re grown and gathered somewhere else

Packaged in plastic, certified, and sealed

But still they’re good Methodist pecans

 

Methodist pecans

 

And in January when the hail-storms rattle

Stuffed in a barn-coat pocket while tracking cattle

 

Methodist pecans - Texas blessed and Texas’ best!

Friday, January 19, 2024

Brooks' Air Conditioning, Kirbyville - great work!

Lawrence Hall, HSG

mhall 46184@aol.com


Brooks' Air Conditioning


Our central heat and air unit sent smoke throughout the house, so I cut the power and telephoned Brooks'.

Matt, a sharp young professional, came to the house and quickly identified and remedied the problems. He also installed a Nu-Calgon iwave-R ionizer in the unit to help clean the air by doing mysterious (to me) things to particles, smells, pollutants, and odors so that they are more easily trapped by your existing filter. Installing this is the sort of thing that should always be done by a professional because it must be wired into the unit. You can read about this and other ionizers on the InterGossip. The Nu-Calgon iwave-R receives consistently good reviews but of course that is a decision you must make for yourself in consultation with your professional air-conditioning tech.

Since the Nu-Calgon iwave-R has been in my unit less than a day I cannot tell you how it will work, but I do know that Matt made my unit work again, which is very comforting in this the worst part of winter. His work is excellent and Brooks' charges were very reasonable.


Thursday, January 18, 2024

In the Foggy Dawn - a Hawk on a Fencepost

 

Lawrence Hall, HSG

Mhall46184@aol.com

 

In the Foggy Dawn - a Hawk on a Fencepost

 

For him the hayfield is his restaurant

A baby mouse, perhaps, or a tasty rabbit

But I prefer a bacon-egg-cheese croissant -

For breakfast we are all creatures of habit!

What Do These Teachers Teach These Children in These Schools? - doggerel

 

Lawrence Hall, HSG

Mhall46184@aol.com

 

 

What Do These Teachers Teach These Children in These Schools?

 

PETA thinks this is how farmers get the wool off sheep? 😂 | Not the Bee

 

Sheep-shearing isn’t a topic in English class

Not here in cattle country; we give sheep a pass

Wednesday, January 17, 2024

My Illegal Oxygen-ish Apple Watch - doggerel

 

Lawrence Hall, HSG

Mhall46184@aol.com

 

(Photograph taken 23 August 2023)


My Illegal Oxygen-ish Apple Watch

 

Apple WILL be banned from selling smartwatches in the US from TOMORROW over claims it stole medical tech - after court rejected tech giant's appeal | Daily Mail Online

 

My Apple Watch ™ © ® has the oxygen feature –

Do I confess to the Law? Or to the preacher?


(My Apple Watch worked fine until it was messed up by the last two updates, which cannot be undone. When this thing fails completely I will find a cheap knockoff on amazon.)

Tuesday, January 16, 2024

The-Maybe-We’ll-Show-Up-and-Maybe-We Won’t Environmental Service

 

Lawrence Hall, HSG

Mhall46184@aol.com

The-Maybe-We’ll-Show-Up-and-Maybe-We Won’t Environmental Service

A little after four in the afternoon on a scheduled pickup day The-Maybe-We’ll- Show-Up-and-Maybe-We-Won’t Environmental Service sent its customers a too-late-in-the-day email stating that they wouldn’t pick up the garbage (the “environmental”) because of the icy road conditions. They said they would get it next week.

They could have made a decision and sent that email the night before so that their customers wouldn’t have to take their garbage to the end of the lane in the cold morning and then bring it back to the house in the cold afternoon.

The plea of weather conditions would be understandable except for the unhappy reality that The-Maybe-We’ll-Show-Up-and-Maybe-We-Won’t Environmental Service isn’t dependable at the best of times. In the last two months or so they have missed three pickup days, seldom answer telephone calls (the one call they answered for me was “I can’t tell you when”), and do not reply to messages. I then must load the sacks of garbage and for a dollar each leave them with the nice folks at the county dump.

The-Maybe-We’ll-Show-Up-and-Maybe-We-Won’t Environmental Service have a good thing going – I pay them for a service which they sometimes don’t perform.

And, yes, at the end of this cycle I will be a former customer. I asked The-Maybe-We’ll-Show-Up-and-Maybe-We-Won’t Environmental Service for three pickup days at the end of the contract for those they missed and $6 for the bags I took to the dump but I am not hopeful.

So have you been to our county dump extension on U.S. 96? Access is an easy drive-through and the folks there are nice and helpful, and if you have health problems they will happily unload the sacks for you.

The-Maybe-We’ll-Show-Up-and-Maybe-We-Won’t Environmental Service could learn from them.

-30-

Sunday, January 14, 2024

A Government Church?

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com

 

A Government Church?

 

We establish no religion in this country. We command no worship. We mandate no belief, nor will we ever. Church and state are and must remain separate.

 

- President Ronald Reagan, Speech in Temple Hillel, Valley Stream, New York,

26 October 1984

 

Each American may his own conscience search

For by the Grace of God we have no national church

 



Cf. The Constitution, Article VI and Amendment I

Saturday, January 13, 2024

When a Book Banner's Books are Banned - rhyming couplet

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com

 

When a Book Banner’s Books are Banned

 

Bill O’Reilly approves of banning the printed word

Except when it comes to his books – “That’s absurd!”

 

Bill O’Reilly Is Furious As His Own Titles Get Removed After Supporting Florida Book Bans (msn.com)

To Accept Israel - poem


Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com

 

To Accept Israel

 

“Israel was not created in order to disappear - Israel will endure and flourish. It is the child of hope and the home of the brave. It carries the shield of democracy and it honors the sword of freedom.”

 

– President John F. Kennedy)

 

To deny Israel is to curse ourselves

For we are inheritors of the Covenant

That He should be our God, and we His people

He creates us, He calls us – this is so

 

He has given us prophecy and law

Cattle in the fields, fish in all the seas

And lovers, flowers, sunsets, songs, salvation

The Great Dance of Creation - and Himself

 

Let not the sinister whisperer divide us!

To accept Israel is to accept - everyone



An English Major Screaming at a Wall Clock - poem (and a mostly true story)

 

Lawrence Hall, HSG

Mhall46184@aol.com

 

An English Major Screaming at a Wall Clock

 

(A French officer would be too well-mannered to do that)

 

Passing from one office to another in quest

Of some elusive official signature

I saw a woman screaming at a clock

And heard her, too, because screams are like that

 

“She’s an English major,” someone said in explanation

“She and her boy Wordsworth are at it again

And meddlesome Coleridge keeps putting his oar in”

I nodded in understanding; Milton had mentioned it

 

A scholar should never scream at institutional clocks;

He should discreetly disapprove of them




Friday, January 12, 2024

Garage-Sale Rolodex for Seventy-Five Cents - poem

Lawrence Hall, HSG

Mhall46184@aol.com

 

Garage-Sale Rolodex® for Seventy-Five Cents

 

I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed,

debriefed, or numbered. My life is my own.

 

-Patrick McGoohan as Number Six in The Prisoner

 

The Rolodex was once a symbol of power

Of knowledge marshalled into sequences

Orderly sequences alphabetized by names

By names and cross indices of subjects and dates

 

Of enemies or allies or contacts, rarely friends

Condensed in ink on smoothly finished cards

Restrained in place by colored plastic tabs

Awaiting the stroke of an office tyrant’s hand

 

The Rolodex was subsumed within The ‘Phone

Thus still your life cannot be called your own

 

Wednesday, January 10, 2024

Upon the Return of Artifacts to Wounded Knee - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com

 

Upon the Return of Artifacts to Wounded Knee

 

“We hope the spirits are on their way now.”

 

-Richard Broken Nose

 

A knife, a needle, an arrow, a pair of shoes

Some beads, a shirt, a drum, a tobacco pouch

A little girl’s doll, fragments of a pot

And tools for completing one’s daily chores

 

They are not artifacts; they are not displays

They are the ordinary necessities of life

Stolen from the dead hands of innocents

To be numbered, indexed, filed, boxed, and mocked

 

These things are sacred now, part of the Great Dance of Creation

We pray the spirits will come and take them home

 

As plundered items return to Wounded Knee, decisions await (artdaily.com)

Tuesday, January 9, 2024

Endsville - Didacticism not at its Best

 

Lawrence Hall, HSG

Mhall46184@aol.com

 

Endsville

 

All in all, at the end of the day, and in conclusion, when the curvy lady sings, when the truth be told, when all is said and done, when the chickens come home to roost, when all the evidence is in, in sum, in short, in brief, the bottom line is, we can only conclude, to conclude, in the end, so as I said before, to sum up, and as Churchill / Gandhi / Harry Potter / a wise man once said, therefore, all things considered, most importantly, taking the facts into account, to wrap things up, on the whole, and most importantly, and finally…

 

(I was going somewhere with this…)

Polysyllabic Aspirational Bourgeois Vanity (and, like, stuff) - poem (of sorts)

 

Lawrence Hall, HSG

Mhall46184@aol.com

 

Polysyllabic Aspirational Bourgeois Vanity

(and, like, stuff)

 

Surrealism

 

A melting clock is not aesthetically pleasing

Nor is it of any utility

It celebrates chaos instead of life

And bullies us with a manifesto

 

Surrealism

 

Gives pale aesthetes topics for their idle hours

Surrendering imagination to cliches’

The endlessly self-referential I, I, me, me

(Another double-latte, if you please)

 

Surrealism

 

The republican’s derivative art is but

The emperor’s new clothes turned inside out

 

 

(And have you seen my serial takes on Greek ikons re-imagined and re-envisioned as diatomic forms through vegan egg-tempera on recycled barn wood as a repudiation of hidebound colonialist oppressivist occupationist Orthodoxy by sequencing monks on Mount Athos as agnostic Jewish fast-food workers influenced by the works of Dali and the Rapallo poets through a motif of running wedges in asymmetric lines from a cosmopolitan image of Heaven to a day-glow Wal-Mart beside a sea of transcendental bubbles which symbolize my feelings when my latest grant was canceled? Hmmmmmmm? Of course the straights don’t get it; their lack of imagination is why they stopped The People’s funding I deserve so that I can make great art chiding them for being dullard capitalist mechanicals. I do take all major credit cards for my works.)

Monday, January 8, 2024

End. Stops. Employed. As. Arguments. - poem (sort. of.)

 

Lawrence Hall, HSG

Mhall46184@aol.com

 

End. Stops. Employed. As. Arguments.

 

Learn. To. Code. You. Had. One. Job. End. Of. Fact.

Decolonize. This. Place. Best. Job. Ever.

Burn. It. Down. Get. A. Job. Not. In. Our. Name.

Not. My. King. Not. My President. Spot. On.

 

Worst. Day. Ever. Votes. Have. Consequences.

What. Could. Go. Wrong. It. Begins. Heads. Will. Roll.

O. M. G. Let. It. Go. This. Isn’t. Over.

Come. And. Take. It. Not. Just. Shut. Up. Just. No.

 

 

Shut. It. Down. Let. It. Go. I. Have. No. Words.

This. Ends. Now. End. Of. Story. Grow. Up. Full. Stop.

 

Sunday, January 7, 2024

You Have Never Voted for a President - weekly column

 Lawrence Hall, HSG

Mhall46184@aol.com

 

You Have Never Voted for a President

 

You have never voted for a president, and neither have I.

 

Certain plaintiffs in certain states have recently petitioned their state courts to bar a certain candidate from standing for the presidency based on Section 3 of the XIVth Amendment. This states that no one can be a senator, representative, or presidential or vice-presidential elector, or hold any public office, civil or military, federal or state, if he (the pronoun is gender-neutral), as a member of congress, an officer in the United States, a member of any state legislature, or an executive or judicial officer in any state if he, having sworn loyalty to the Constitution, “shall have engaged in insurrection against the same (the Constitution).”

 

The XIVth Amendment was enacted following the Civil War and in response to it, but an amendment is not limited in time and place. It is active law, not a museum curiosity.

 

But how can a state presume to bar a candidate from a presidential ballot in that state?

 

That leads us back to Article II, which states clearly that presidents are elected by electors from each state, not by a popular vote. Further, these electors from each state are appointed by the legislature of each state, “…in such Manner as the Legislature may direct…”

 

The fifty states and the too-much-indulged District of Columbia can, as a matter of states’ rights, choose their electors in any manner they chose. Hey, it’s in the Constitution. And do we follow our Constitution or not? As practiced the popular vote in each state is for electors, not for candidates, and the electors then vote for the president. Some states do not allow their electors to vote against the will of the electorate, but some do.

 

Our clumsy system of voting sounds illogical, but its function is to ensure that sparsely-populated states and districts are not subjected to the votes of heavily-populated cities. Without our electoral college (they don’t have a football team, though) our presidential elections would always be decided by the west coast axis and the east coast axis.

 

This protection is similar to the constitutional requirement that while the states send a number or representatives to the House based on population, they each send two senators to the Senate regardless of population.

 

All this is a little awkward, but it means that the great population centers cannot use the rest of us – “flyover country,” “deplorables,” and so on – as simply a source of raw materials for their industries and recruits for their many undeclared wars, and dumping grounds for their garbage.

 

Under the Constitution the citizens of a state may indeed appeal to their state legislature for barring a candidate from the ballot in that state only based on the XIVth Amendment in that same federal Constitution. It is a matter of states’ rights not only in the XIVth amendment but in the Xth.

 

The argument that the President is not mentioned as an officer in the amendment is specious, even a little desperate. No one in over two hundred years has ever denied that the office of the presidency is in fact and function the office of the presidency. The President is not in a position of employment or contract; he is an officer.

 

The argument that the amendment does not apply if the candidate has not been convicted might carry some weight except for the fact that the authority for granting eligibility rests with a ¾ vote of the House of Representatives.

 

Where the petitioners may have gone off those metaphorical rails is presenting their petition to their state courts instead of to their state legislatures. The state courts under the Constitution should bounce this to their legislatures.

 

So why isn’t this taught in school? Well, it is; it’s just that no 16-year-old is in the least interested in civics class. Nor does he (the pronoun is gender-neutral) give a rat’s rear end for Shakespeare, sentence structure, molecular theory, physics, algebra, or the food pyramid.

 

Geometry is kinda fun, though.

 

But they’re kids. They’re learning. We adults have no excuses, and the language of the Constitution is clear enough. We have a duty to perceive issues rationally as adults, come to conclusions based in law, and participate in civilization as citizens of a great republic.

 

There are many elementals in civilized behavior – one is that when we vote we often don’t get our way. That’s the deal. That’s our Constitution.

 

-30-

 

 




Monday, January 1, 2024

Colin Cloute on the First of January - poem

 

Lawrence Hall, HSG

Mhall46184@aol.com

 

 

Colin Cloute on the First of January

 

And now is come thy wynters stormy state,

Thy mantle mard, wherein thou maskedst late

 

-Spenser, The Shepheardes Calender, “Januarye,” 23-25

 

The calendar year is advertised as new

But the slanting, yellowing sun is old

Almost weepy-eyed, exhausted, and weak

Beyond the icy cirrhus clouds of dusk

 

In a few weeks I will turn over the garden soil

A mediaeval ploughman with his electric tiller

Following the ancient seasons of the English year

Anticipating Lent and Eastertide

 

For now, the fireside and a comforting page

And a cuppa for warming the bones of age

Mr. Biden and Mr. Trump Schedule a Debate - rhyming couplet

  Lawrence Hall, HSG Mhall46184@aol.com   Mr. Biden and Mr. Trump Schedule a Debate   “No, sir, I do not bite my dentures at you, si...