Dispatches for the Colonial Office: Gunsmoke

Thursday, September 17, 2026

Lawrence Hall

Third Cowboy from the Left

An Ageing Actor’s One Regret

Julius Caesar was left on the cutting room floor

Lucky Ned Pepper was shot off his horse

Hamlet talked too much – oh, what a bore!

Doctor Watson got in the way, of course

As an unnamed messenger I was the best:

I spotted the approach of Birnham Wood

And the charging enemy in Beau Geste

I played lesser parts, and I was good

But, oh! If only (better than High Noon)

I could have been

A cowboy at the bar in the Long Branch Saloon

Dispatches for the Colonial Office