Sunday, December 28, 2025

If This Were Your Real Life Your Would Have Been Given Better Instructions - doggerel

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com

Dispatches for the Colonial Office

 

If This Were Your Real Life 

You Would Have Been Given Better Instructions

 

 

This is only a test -

if this were your real life you would have been given better instructions

 

-seen on a bumper sticker

 

 

I took my cough to a plastic plaque

My wheezing and sneezing and headache too

My unaccountably rigidy back

And sputum that reeked like a witches’ brew

 

I waved the little cotton probe all through

My nostrils where the wicked virus lurked

And then I thoughtfully dropped five drops unto

A window in the plaque, and, lo! It worked!

 

I don’t have the covid and I don’t have the ‘flu

So why do I feel so blown-out blue!


(N.B. I take my medical advice from my brilliant nurse practitioner, not from the InterGossip nor from Robert Kennedy.)

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If This Were Your Real Life Your Would Have Been Given Better Instructions - doggerel

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