Dispatches for the Colonial Office: Uninvited Visitors

Saturday, October 31, 2026

Lawrence Hall

Don’t Bring Your Dogs When You Visit

V: Really. Don’t bring your dogs when you visit

Yes, I love dogs, and I know that your dogs are special -

R: My pupsies are the cutest-wutest-most-preciousist

Doggies in the whole while world give mummy

A kissie-wissie num-num – oh, did Sissy growl at you?

She never growls at anyone she wouldn’t hurt a fly

You must have done something to provoke her

Could the dogs play in your back yard; they love cats

I hope you don’t mind that we didn’t call beforehand

We just happened to be in the neighborhood and the dogs

Needed a break after their long trip and oh!

Prissie left you a present; isn’t she just the sweetest!

Oh, sorry about that broken vase; you know

We keep our house doggie-proof; your furniture

Just isn’t steady I could find you a new vase

At the dollar store – your grandmother’s? Really?

I wouldn’t worry about the cats; they’ll come back

I think they enjoy being chased; it’s a game to them

Sissie’s sneezing; I think it’s your musty house

Dogs have delicate noses, you know

Oh, how cute – Prissie has just caught a cat!

Don’t you like dogs? I just don’t understand that

Dispatches for the Colonial Office