Lawrence Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
LogoSophia Magazine – A Pilgrim’s Journal of Life, Literature and Love
Don’t Bring Your Humans When You Visit
Really. Don’t bring your humans when you visit
Yes, I love humans, and I know that your humans are special
But when they burble “pupsies,” “cutest-wutest,” and “most-preciousist”
I want to rip their lungs out and devour them
(says a chihuahua)
A dog would never say “kissie-wissie num-num”
And not be driven forever from the pack
And as for babbling “wouldn’t hurt a fly”
Just how incredibly stupid is that!
And a dog would never, ever **** on the floor
Except when thoughtless humans don’t open the door
Dogs don’t lock humans in cages to die
Of starvation and loneliness and thirst
And dogs don’t drag their humans into other humans’ dens
Without any preparation, and turn them loose
Uninvited, unwanted, frightened and confused
To make a chaos of other humans’ daily routines
When humans force dogs into an unfamiliar cave
It’s not the dogs who should learn to behave!
