Lawrence Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
LogoSophia Magazine – A Pilgrim's Journal of Life, Literature and Love
Chaucer’s Pardoner’s Tale as a Cabinet Meeting
A brotherhede of sworen conspiratours
Blody daggares, poysouned wyn, hepys of gold
Caroignes under an ok – a counseil of trecherie
And the scorneful laughter of Olde Man Deth
Lawrence Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
LogoSophia Magazine – A Pilgrim's Journal of Life, Literature and Love
Nonsense Rhymes for Nonsense Times
Literary chat:
Basho’s frog, Schrodinger’s cat
There’s truth in all that
Lawrence
Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
LogoSophia Magazine – A Pilgrim's Journal of Life, Literature and Love
A Comma-nist Manifesto
Like tiny
little tadpoles, commas are fun
Randomly swimming
in a pool of words
Feeding on
microscopic organisms -
They might
grow up to be dictionaries
Unless
they are devoured by an A.I.
Do Oxford
commas wear tiny Cambridge shoes?
Or do they
simply float about, separating clauses
As
commanded by Fowler1, but not by a fisher
Commas
will mend a certain grammatical flaw
Lest “Let’s
eat, Grandma!” become “Let’s eat Grandma!”2
1 Fowler’s Modern English Usage, Oxford University Press,
many editions
2 Possibly every language teacher has employed this old wheeze.
Lawrence
Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
LogoSophia Magazine – A Pilgrim's Journal of Life, Literature and Love
Everyone Has a Dream
He wants
his head set atop Mount Rushmore1
I think
that’s a fine idea
1 Six Grandfathers Mountain
Lawrence Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
LogoSophia Magazine – A Pilgrim's Journal of Life, Literature and Love
The Gospel According to the Ladies’ Altar Society
The announcement for and the exposition of
The Ladies’ Altar Society Craft Fair and Sale
Should not last longer than the homily
Lawrence
Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
LogoSophia Magazine – A Pilgrim's Journal of Life, Literature and Love
A Full Moon at Goodwill
As I was
giving the housewares a pass
A fat man
dropped his shorts to scratch his ***
Lawrence Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
LogoSophia Magazine – A Pilgrim's Journal of Life, Literature and Love
A Dignified Transfer
Shocky and stunned, ears ringing in the sudden silence
Trembly hands scooping up meaty body parts
Meaty body parts, sticky blood, greedy flies
All into a baggy, a zippered body bag
A dignified transfer
A curvy fragment of skull, some kid’s curly hair
Is that…? yes…he was so funny…don’t think about it
The living already dusted off, the dead remain
Can we get them out tonight? I dunno, man
A dignified transfer
The president will execute his practiced salute
In a dignified transfer
after the 18th hole
Lawrence
Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
LogoSophia Magazine – A Pilgrim's Journal of Life, Literature and Love
Shimmering Summer Sun
Tired earth
gasps for breath
Beneath this
mid-summer sun
Bees buzz
for a breeze
Lawrence Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
LogoSophia Magazine – A Pilgrim's Journal of Life, Literature and Love
Hands without a Watch
Thanks to Mike Hauser for his idea about a watch without hands
Hands without a watch have nowhere to point
They are neither formless nor void, but still
But they cannot describe an orbit of time
Nor convey structure to a seeker of order
Hands without a watch have nowhere to go
Unloved they float without meaning or being
In desolate freedom without meaning or being
In emptiness without meaning or being
Hands without a watch cannot frame the ordinals
Or quantify the hours in ordered cardinals
Lawrence
Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
LogoSophia Magazine – A Pilgrim's Journal of Life, Literature and Love
An Existential Bus Ride on the Periphery of Heaven
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
With your one wild and precious bus ticket?
-As Mary Oliver did not say in “The
Summer Day”
Is
this the right bus? Where are you going?
I
boarded the bus outside Balboa Park
With
Tolkien and Lewis smoking their pipes
Missed
a stop along University Boulevard
Because
I was listening to Pasternak
Got
off the bus at Horton Plaza (there was no Hoo)
Because
McKuen wanted to roam the rainy streets
Boarded
again a few hours later, but
Spenser
refused to sit next to a Catholic
I
told him I really enjoyed The Faerie Queene anyway
He
thanked me and autographed my death sentence
McMurtry
said, “This ain’t Texas, you know;
You
can’t even see Texas from the back of the bus”
Frankl
replied, “But there is meaning in a bus”
De
Chardin suggested that all bus-ness is coming together
Yevtushenko
declared that the bus was all about him
Eliot
thought there might not be a bus at all
My
ticket ran out at Mission Beach, and so did I
Outside
a bikini shop where the loungers ask
Not
about the meaning of life, but rather
“Spare
change? Spare change?”
Lawrence
Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
LogoSophia Magazine – A Pilgrim's Journal of Life, Literature and Love
When You and Your Server are from Different Centuries
Diner:
Coffee with sugar and cream. What’s your major?
Server:
Finance. I plan to be a CPA.
Diner:
That’s wonderful! I have trouble balancing my checkbook.
Server:
Fresh coffee coming right up. What’s a checkbook?
Lawrence Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
LogoSophia Magazine – A Pilgrim's Journal of Life, Literature and Love
Sitting by an Escape Hatch During the Funeral
“The dead without charity enclosed in craziness”
-As Henry V did not say
“Now let’s all take turns sharing our favorite memories of Daddy”
Y’all don’t know me but I’m his wife and I don’t drank and y’all know I don’t approve of drankin’ and I was married to somebody else when we met and he asked me for my phone number and I gave him a disconnected one but he wouldn’t give up and he asked my uncle for my number and my uncle asked my daddy and he said it was okay and I said I ain’t interested in you I’m married to the love of my life we was separated but I had them kids and he had his kids and Jesus knows the way and so we got married for forty seven years when we got married we had both been married so we asked if we was going to live just as brother and sister because of the kids and Lord knows we tried but Jesus knows the way and after a month we was really together and we was married forty-seven years and there’s a hell of an angel in heaven now yessir a hell of an angel in Heaven tonight and if anyone don’t like how I say it you know what you can do about it cause he was the best man ever and Jesus wanted us together…
And that is why you should sit in the back
By the door, ready to escape
Lawrence
Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
LogoSophia Magazine – A Pilgrim's Journal of Life, Literature and Love
A Black-Tie Dinner in Pandaemonium
A dismal universal
hiss, the sound
Of
public scorn
-Paradise Lost, Book IX.508-509
Submissive
and obedient they came to sup
With
weak applause for their glowering chief
(Whose
courtiers listed those who did not show up)
Each
quivered in fear like a trembling leaf
Lawrence
Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
LogoSophia Magazine – A Pilgrim's Journal of Life, Literature and Love
For a Friend on His Pilgrimage
As
you walk your path
Your
Narrow Road to the North
May
you find Heiwa
Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com
Schrodinger’s Constitution
US military launches new airstrikes to 'punish' Iran for deaths of US troops | AP News
We cannot know how many of our young,
Our soldiers young, were killed today because
Our president’s words are ashes and lies
Blown about in the desert’s desolation
That mad old man plays with his golden trinkets
While his Secretary for Blood fondles testosterone
Around a reflecting pool that reflects little more
Than immigration officers shooting people in the streets
Benjamin Franklin warned us, “A republic - if you can keep it” –
God forgive us; we did not keep it
Lawrence
Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
LogoSophia Magazine – A Pilgrim's Journal of Life, Literature and Love
A Back-to-School Shopping Fantasy
Dialogue Log Log
Between Two High School Students
“From my summer job I saved and searched and bought
This Keuffel & Esser 4081-3 Log Log
Duplex Decitrig Slide Rule -
Now I control the numbers, touch the numbers
Bend the numbers to my purposes; numbers mind me”
“That is so old school!” He chewing-gummed in scorn
In adolescent scorn
“All I need is a calculator from Shanghai
It tells me what it wants me to know
And, hey, check out my new autograph sneakers!”
Ten Years Later
When she bid the engineering for the next Airbus
She did not hire him
Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com
“The Intoxicating Poetry of Belief”1
From an idea by a fellow scrivener
And for the fellowship of these electric pages
Ad Deum qui laetificat juventutem meam
The liturgy is a poem
A hymn of the universe 1
That was
And is
And forever will be
Spoken and sung
Sometimes we get lost in a volta
But it all comes together in the Consecration
And again in the L’envoi
We are the poem
We don’t have to get it right
Or know all the words
We are loved and sung
All the way to the end
And if we’re sometimes inattentive
Well
That’s okay too
The liturgy is not a got’cha
The liturgy is a gift
1 cf. Anais Vionet
2 Teilhard de Chardin
Lawrence Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
LogoSophia Magazine – A Pilgrim's Journal of Life,
Literature and Love
Is Your Life No More Than a Login Code?
Login code: 209455 Your login code is 145180 Login code: 653777
Login code: 409641 Sorry, we were unable to deliver your message to the
following address. 550: 5.1.1 The email
account that you tried to reach does not exist. Please try 5.1.1
double-checking the recipient's email address for typos or 5.1.1 unnecessary
spaces. For more information, go to
5.1.1 https://support.google.com/mail/?p=NoSuchUser
586e51a60fabf-4044bd73886si3150986fac.144 - gsmtp
Lawrence Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
LogoSophia Magazine – A Pilgrim's Journal of Life, Literature and Love
Do I.C.E. Waiting Rooms Feature Coffee Machines and Kitsch?
Plastic Herbs in Physicians’ Waiting Rooms
Those photographs and paintings of bicycles
Leaning against sunlit Italian curbs
Are no more – now doctors’ offices
Are all about ceramic pots of plastic herbs
And coffee machines that pierce cute little cups
And brew up coffee with a soft low hiss
To serve you freshly-brewed pick-me-ups
That go so well with your diagnosis
New decorations, same old fluorescent lights
While scribbling out ideas for your funeral rites
possibly a re-post
Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com
Lawrence Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
LogoSophia Magazine – A Pilgrim's Journal of Life, Literature and Love
Has Anyone Counted all the Senators Today?
“Conspiracies Swirl”
Drudge, 13 July 2026
Conspiracies do not whirl
People swirl conspiracies
But has anyone counted
All the Senators today?
Lawrence
Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
LogoSophia Magazine – A Pilgrim's Journal of Life, Literature and Love
Dragon in July
A fallen dragon
Collapses on burning fields
Children breathe its heat
Lawrence Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
LogoSophia Magazine – A Pilgrim's Journal of Life, Literature and Love
You are Now Leaving the ******** Sector
Please have your passport ready
Your proof of return
Your proof of financial responsibility
Your testimony of undying loyalty to the regime
Take off your shoes
Empty your pockets and place the contents in the plastic
tray
Don’t make any jokes
What is the purpose of your trip?
When were you last out of the country?
For what purpose?
Have you ever traveled to any of the following countries…?
Are you related to anyone in your country of destination?
How?
Are you carrying more than $100,000 in currency or negotiable securities?
Step into the curious machine
Step out of the curious machine
Please take off your belt and step back into the machine
Please step out of the machine and hold your arms high
Do you have a pacemaker or other electronic medical device?
Do you have a heart?
The wand is not intrusive
Stand on one foot
Now stand on the other foot
The patdown is not intrusive
You may proceed
When we stepped outside the ******** sector
We looked back and realized how small it is
Lawrence
Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
LogoSophia Magazine – A Pilgrim's Journal of Life, Literature and Love
If a Senryu Goes Bad
Would a poem about
Committing an injustice
Be a SINryu?
(Apologies.
I blame the heat. And fluoride. And jabs. And mysterious lights from Mars.)
Lawrence
Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
LogoSophia Magazine – A Pilgrim's Journal of Life, Literature and Love
Goodwill is my Bond Street
Joe Bidens for $2.50 at Goodwill
1950s happenin’ Foster Grants
I’m as cool as the former president
Hey, chicks and babes, check out my Subaru
A nautical blazer with buttons of brass
I’m as svelte as Patrick McGoohan
Okay, I’m twice the man he ever was
My secret agent waist is a danger, man
My couturier’s a thrill not on Blueberry Hill
But ‘way downtown, at the good old Goodwill
Lawrence Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
LogoSophia Magazine – A Pilgrim's Journal of Life, Literature and Love
A Red Card?
We will never give each other red cards
But how about a red maple leaf from Canada?
We could walk through Bowring Park in St. John’s
And watch the children play around Peter Pan
We will never give each other red cards
But like monarchs under bright red parasols
We could be the sovereigns of each other’s hearts
Along the Chao Phraya, the River of Kings
We will never give each other red cards –
But would you like a mischievous red balloon
And a morning in Paris?
Music: “Le Ballon Rouge,” Maurice Leroux
Lawrence
Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
LogoSophia Magazine – A Pilgrim's Journal of Life, Literature and Love
Humans – They’re What’s for Dinner!
I lay me down to sleep tonight
I pray the Lord that mosquitoes won’t bite
I fear that my brand new bug light
Will draw them near without harm or fright
They’re free to dance and mock and buzz –
A live-and-let-live
attitude
Is all that my new bug light does!
Lawrence Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
LogoSophia Magazine – A Pilgrim's Journal of Life, Literature and Love
A Complicated Affair of the Heart
“‘My country, right or wrong,’ is a thing that no patriot would think of saying.
It is like saying, ‘My mother, drunk or sober.'”
-G. K. Chesterton, The Defendant, 1901
At midday I finally posted the flag
After many hours of reflection and guilt
The bloody tyrant will think it is there for him -
But he cannot command our faithful hearts
His soldiers occupy our capital’s streets
Arresting citizens for crimes that never were
He wars against the nations while our Congress cowers -
But he cannot command our faithful hearts
That is not his flag over our still-standing ramparts -
For he cannot command our faithful hearts
4 July 2026
Lawrence
Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
LogoSophia Magazine – A Pilgrim's Journal of Life, Literature and Love
Criminally Made Algae
“The Reflecting Pool is
now in full use after suffering great damage from Criminal, Radical Left
Vandals, people that truly hate our Country…the criminally made algae is gone”
The
President, 28 June 2026, numerous sources
A dripping-damp alley off a sinister street
Among the garbage cans and omnivorous rats
A series of coded knocks on an obscure door
“Psssst! Neville the Liberal Arts Graduate sent me”
Sinister doings in a dimly-lit lab
Chemicals and curious machinery
“We can’t get the chlorophyl balanced, Boss”
“The gamete-producing cells must be shipped at dawn”
“Algae, comrades, remember our purpose, our goal!
Algae, comrades, for the president’s toilet bowl!”
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
Lawrence Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
LogoSophia Magazine – A Pilgrim's Journal of Life, Literature and Love
I Caught the Sun
I’ll catch the sun, and never give it back again
-Rod McKuen, “I’ll Catch the Sun”
I caught the sun, but have to give it back
Always in memories, sometimes in bits of flesh
Once by square inches, now by centimeters
In the modern measurements of loss
We often caught the sun, shirtless and sunburnt
In the golden summers of our glorious youth
When solar radiation was good for us
While building bob-wire fences and working the fields
I once showed off my tan to pretty girls
But now only to dermatologists
“Bob wire” is the sweat-stained vernacular; “barbed wire” is the usage of people who never built fence.
