Lawrence Hall, HSG
Comparing our Secret Service with Barney Fife is
Inappropriate
Because we love and respect Deputy
Fife
In art, incompetence can
have a certain charm
But in stupid men with
guns the charm is lacking
Our agents can’t even keep
themselves from harm
Their greatest skills are
in shacking and slacking
Colombian floozies and
slanting roofs
Unman the best of them; they
lose their guns
They lose laptops, but
never their 90-proof
And break into private
property for poopy runs
To them a President
entrusts his life –
He’d surely be safer with
Deputy Barney Fife
