Dispatches for the Colonial Office: Death Comes for the Cardinal

Wednesday, May 6, 2026

Lawrence Hall

Death Comes for the Cardinal

While tending the tomatoes and peppers and such

I found the corpse of a cardinal – too much!

And my sweet little cat with a grin on her mug

Licking her paw with a ‘tude all smug

I’ve told all the birds to watch out for the cat

But they will dive-bomb her – rat-a-tat-tat!

And thus a brave cardinal or insolent bluejay

Will be snatched to its death on a sunny day

O, bold birdies, soaring down from the sky

Mind the claws lest you dive and die

Or as is said in Iberia, by every don and dona

Always remember - leave that cat alone, ya!

(Apologies to everyone in Catalonia)

A play on Death Comes for the Archbishop

Dispatches for the Colonial Office