Forming a Committee Around a Car That Wouldn’t Start - doggerel

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com

Dispatches for the Colonial Office

 

Forming a Committee Around a Car That Wouldn’t Start

 

The engine wouldn’t turn over; the electrics were dead

We stood around the open hood, each scratching his head

 

1^st Member:

 

“It appears to me it’s the dead battery

There’s no indication of a charge, you see”

 

2^nd Member:

 

“I’m a college graduate, so I am smarter

Obviously the problem is with the starter”

 

3rd Member:

 

“There’s a smell in the engine, something tannic

And I should know; I’m a certified mechanic”

 

4^th Member:

 

“I’m a knight of the road; I drive a freighter

Just let me at that broken alternator”

 

 

But none of our skilled efforts came to pass

Because no one had bothered to check

 

                        the gas

The Bright Green Wheelie-Bin - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com

Dispatches for the Colonial Office

 

The Bright Green Wheelie-Bin

 

(Much Superior to a Red Wheelbarrow)

 

The wheelie-bin is pretty in its own way

Thick plastic moulded in ecological green

To be rumbly-dragged on garbage day

To the end of lane to grace our suburban scene

 

Very little depends upon the wheelie-bin:

Unpleasant household garbage on its rounds

The really useful stuff has been well dug in

The loam – potato peels and coffee grounds

 

But note ye well - this garden plot thickens

For we have sparrows and crows

but no white chickens

No More Pronouns, Then? DEI, Mr. Trump, and Mr. Shakespeare

  

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com

Dispatches for the Colonial Office

 

No More Pronouns, Then?

 

 

A version of Henry V, that, yea, verily, will offend neither the rightistas nor the leftistas

 

 

Few, happy few, band of brothers;
For to-day that sheds blood with
Shall be brother; be ne’er so vile,
This day shall gentle condition:
And gentlemen in England now a-bed
Shall think accursed were not here,
And hold manhoods cheap while speaks
That fought with upon Saint Crispin’s day

 

Or better yet:

 

Few, happy few, band of siblings;
For to-day that contributes bodily fluid with
Shall be sibling; be ne’er so vile,
This day shall equalise even more equally an existing state of equality:
And persons in a subset of the United Rulerdom now a-bed
Shall think mildly disapproved were not here,
And hold personhoods cheap and so in need of therapy while speaks
That negotiated with upon the 25^th of October

Do Dreams Fade Away at Dawn? Or Do We? - short poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com

Dispatches for the Colonial Office

 

Do Dreams Fade Away at Dawn? Or Do We?

 

Do dreams beyond the dreamer dream

The imagined lands from deepest night

In which we live and seem to love -

Do they exist at morning’s light?

It Became Necessary to Destroy the Constitution to Save It - poem

  

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com

Dispatches for the Colonial Office

 

It Became Necessary to Destroy the Constitution to Save It

 

-as an unnamed army major in Viet-Nam did not say

 

 

When old Rip Van Me wakes up each morning he finds

A world unlike the one when his nap began -

Who are these angry faces on great screens?

Why are there cracks in the Capitol dome?

 

Arrests and deportations, mobs with clench’ed fists

Grim armored vehicles patrolling our city streets

A presidential advisor hurling Nazi salutes

Personal loyalty checks within our surveillance state

 

When old Rip Van Me wakes up each morning he finds

A nation of madmen who have lost their minds

Flight 5342 - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com

Dispatches for the Colonial Office

 

Happy Young Lives Rich with Promise

 

“I will go in to the Altar of God”

 

Ephemera among the searchlight beams:

A paperback novel, a Mickey Mouse doll

Purses and ‘phones, and in-flight magazines

Briefcases still securing important work

 

Ephemera among the searchlight beams:

A note about souvenirs for the kids back home

From the Folger and the aerospace museum

Ice skates in the bins, safely stowed away

 

But now

 

Now lost to us among the searchlight beams:

Happy young lives rich with promises and dreams

Cancelling the InterGossip Service - not exacly a poem

  

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com

Dispatches for the Colonial Office

 

Cancelling the InterGossip Service

 

And how are you today I am so very glad to hear that thank you sir you have paid today so we won’t be able to cancel the service until next month I am so glad to hear that we need a mailing address so that we can send you a box for the equipment thank you sir no a post office box won’t do I am sorry sir you are breaking up yes sir let me read that back to you thank you sir let me verify your account number that is correct and thank you I will need your zip code will you repeat that thank you but our records show that your service address is oh that is not it please tell me again thank you sir I will read it back to you thank you sir you will have thirty days from the twenty-seventh of next month to return the equipment in the box we will provide to you at your mailing address and I have that mailing address so thank you sir if you will wait two minutes while I access your file thank you sir and I will need your mailing address oh I see I have that sir for the equipment return thank you sir which will cost you $350 if it is not returned thank you sir and now I must read you this list now if you have any questions if you will please wait two minutes thank you sir and may I ask why you are discontinuing service and are you moving sir if you will wait two minutes while I update your records thank you sir and I have your mailing address and may I ask why you are discontinuing service with us oh I am so sorry sir but did they tell you it is fibre optic I understand sir before we go I want to advise you that because you are a long-time customer we have a special offer thank you sir I am happy to have helped you sir and I hope you have a good rest of the day