Lawrence Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
When Alliteration Goes Bad
Peter
Piper
Picked a
Peck of
Pickled
Hamsters
Saturday, August 23, 2025
When Alliteration and Peter Piper Go Bad - Nonsense
Friday, August 22, 2025
To a True Believer: When I.C.E. Runs Out of Immigrants - quatrain
Lawrence Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
To a True Believer: When I.C.E. Runs out of
Immigrants
Many genuine Bolsheviks who were
arrested at that time utterly refused to believe that this had happened with
(Stalin’s) knowledge, still less on his personal instructions.
-Yevtushenko, A Precocious
Autobiography, p. 17
When
your steel sleeping shelf is next to mine
Three
or four racks high under lock and key
You
will cry out again in your petulant whine:
“But I voted for him!
This
was not supposed to happen to ME!”
Thursday, August 21, 2025
"I Pray You, Remember the Porter" - poem
Lawrence Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
“I Pray You, Remember the Porter”
-Macbeth II.ii.20-21
When I was a young husband and father
I served: on the parish council, taught CCD
Chaperoned bake sales, CYO, and youth trips
Eucharistic minister, lector, and greeter
(No one else could hand out a leaflet with such grace, such elegance, such panache)
But with age, and one by one, I let them go
This morning I asked to be recused at last
From thirty years on the lector duty list
“God’s benison go with you…”
As lector
I lost confidence in sorting out the new ways of doing things
Of being where I’m supposed to be
And moving when I’m supposed to do so
And moving where I’m supposed to do so
Carrying the lectionary without dropping it
Mounting the Altar steps without tripping
Standing in one place for more than a few minutes
Seeing the words clearly (why is the print so small?)
Wreathing the verbs without thripping over my thongue
But I’m still a greeter – I can open the door
‘Tis my appointed skill level, but ‘tis one
As Macduff did not say
No leaflets, though; that stuff’s now on the InterGossip
I smile and open the door, admire babies, help with coats
Show visitors the way to the euphemism
Tell the kids how tall they’ve grown
(You’re a senior!? Why, I remember when…)
And it’s okay.
I am blessed with honour, love, and troops of friends
(as Macbeth could not say)
Honour, love, and troops of friends
All good.
Deo gratias
America Inspires the Free World - couplet
Lawrence Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
America Inspires the
Free World
Americans are a people who, when threatened by a tyrant
Watch TV to applaud someone for cooking an omelet
An Exercise in Alliteration Cut Short by the August Heat - quatrain
Lawrence Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
An Exercise in Alliteration Cut Short by the August Heat
Even summer seems weary with summer:
Withering weeds wish woefully for winter
High heat hangs heavily upon the heath
While garden groundlings gasp across the grass
Resettlement to the East on Kristi's Personal Prisoner Airline - poem
Lawrence Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
“Resettlement to the
East”
Kristi Noem is pushing for ICE to buy and operate a fleet of
deportation planes, sources say
Drain
the swamp for a better America
On
Qatari Boeings detailed in gold
With
interiors by Hugo Boss
Saturday, August 16, 2025
Dust Devils on a Sunday Morning in August - poem
Lawrence Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
Dust Devils on a Sunday Morning in August
The Road to Emmaus is asphalt now
Instead of dust devils spinning in the heat
The stench of curious chemicals flow
In shimmerings among the hovering oaks
Above the crisping-brown fields circling vultures
Seem focused on me – do they sense a decaying soul?
My great-grandfather drove a wagon to church
I have air-conditioning, and Chopin on the radio
The Road to Emmaus is asphalt now
But you still might meet a Stranger along the way
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