Monday, March 10, 2025

William Ernest Henley Never Owned a Snapper Lawnmower - doggerel

 Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com

Dispatches for the Colonial Office

 

William Ernest Henley Never Owned a Snapper Lawnmower

 

Unsparkus

 

Out of the oil that covers me

          Black as the pit of a president’s soul

I resent whatever flawed designs may be

          With my unmechanical soul

 

In the fell clutch of a slippery clutch

          I have often winced and cried aloud

Under the bludgeonings of that son-of-a-Dutch

          “I’ll junk this [mess]!” I have avowed

 

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

          Looms but the horror of engine-part prices

And yet the promise of a case of cold beers

          Finds me hammering again at these devices

 

It matters not how high the grass

          How charged with prices the hardware store bill

I am going to whip this foul machine’s [self]

          Or bury the [buzzard] in the nearest landfill!

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William Ernest Henley Never Owned a Snapper Lawnmower - doggerel

 Lawrence Hall Mhall46184@aol.com Dispatches for the Colonial Office   William Ernest Henley Never Owned a Snapper Lawnmower   Unsparkus   O...